The Duty and Importance of Family Worship

by Pastoral Intern Mark Kuo

Many in our day sadly neglect the important duty of family worship. Many Christian parents ignore their responsibility to teach children to fear and obey God. Instead, they might assume that it is enough to send children to Sunday schools. One of the reasons that covenant children fall away from faith is the lack and even absence of family worship. Also, many Christian husbands ignore their duty to nourish their wives in truth for holiness. They tend to think they have done enough if they make a living for their families. The absence of family worship causes families to drift away from godliness to worldliness. The decay of family spirituality will also detriment the health of the church, as the church is made up mostly of families. Beeke rightly observed:

“Few seriously grapple with why many adolescents become nominal members with mere notional faith or abandon evangelical truth for unbiblical doctrine and modes of worship. I believe one major reason for this failure is the lack of stress upon family worship. In many churches and homes, family worship is an optional thing, or at most a superficial exercise such as a brief table grace before meals. Consequently, many children grow up with no experience or impression of Christian faith and worship as a daily reality.” (Joel R. Beeke, Family Worship: Grand Rapids, Mich: Reformation Heritage Books, 2009)

On the contrary, if a household faithfully conducts family worship, with the blessing of the Holy Spirit, the members will flourish in godliness through all that they think, say, and do. They will thus be more consciously dependent on God, more active to mortify their sins, and more please and glorify God in their daily duties in the household. Family worship dost not downplay children’s ministry at the church. But it cannot be substituted by children’s ministry either. Thus, it is vital that Christians, especially those who are heads of households, understand the duty and importance of family worship.

Sound interpretation of the Scripture requires the use of “good and necessary consequence.” This means that there are truths of God, including the duty of family worship, that flow unavoidably and logically from the Scripture as we compare different places in the Scripture. These truths deduced by good and necessary consequence are to be obeyed as much as those that are expressly taught in the Scripture. There are many passages in the Scripture that, in one way or another, mandate the Christian duty of family worship.

Deuteronomy 6:1-9 is the most explicitly prescriptive passage that teaches the duty and importance of family worship.

“1 Now this is the commandment—the statutes and the rules—that the Lord your God commanded me to teach you, that you may do them in the land to which you are going over, to possess it, 2 that you may fear the Lord your God, you and your son and your son’s son, by keeping all his statutes and his commandments, which I command you, all the days of your life, and that your days may be long. 3 Hear therefore, O Israel, and be careful to do them, that it may go well with you, and that you may multiply greatly, as the Lord, the God of your fathers, has promised you, in a land flowing with milk and honey.4 “Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. 5 You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might.” (Deuteronomy 6:1-5)

In verse 1, God commanded Moses to teach Israelites God’s statutes and rules, which are summarized in verse 5 as loving the Lord, the only one God, with all their heart, soul, and might. Why did God teach Moses all these things? According to verse 2, it is because by doing so, God’s people who have heard Moses’ teaching here, as well as their descendants (you and your son and your son’s son), may fear the Lord their God and obey His commands. But how could those children learn to fear and obey God, since they were not present, or even had not yet been born when Moses taught God’s commands to their parents? The answer cannot be clearer. They must come to know and obey God through their fathers diligently teaching them to obey what Moses had taught about God. In other words, the purpose of Moses’ teaching is not only that the adult Israelites would obey God’s commands, but also that they should teach their children to obey. The implication is that the means of grace which God ordinarily uses to save the covenant children is their fathers’ faithful instruction of God’s word. How then does the father teach their children?

“6 And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. 7 You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. 8 You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. 9 You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.” (Deuteronomy 6:6-9)

Firstly, verse 6 teaches that the father should first and foremost keep God’s word in his heart, before he teaches his children. He is not just teaching the right knowledge about God, but also worshiping God heartily and experientially before his household and his God. After all, how could a father teach his children to love and fear the Lord, if he himself does not live out this life? Secondly, verse 7 teaches that he should teach God’s word diligently to his children. Who does it mean by “diligently?” The second half of verse 7 illustrates: “…talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise”. Sitting, walking, lying down, and rising are literally daily activities for everyone. Certainly, this does not mean that the only thing the father can talk about with his family is the Bible. But this does mean that the father should try his best daily to make his household God-honoring according to His word. God cannot be honored daily, unless His word is daily taught, read, heard, believed, and obeyed daily. Verse 8 and 9 picture how the households should treat God’s word: “…bind them as a sign on your hand…as frontlets between your eyes….write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.” Whether taken literally or metaphorically, these outward actions beautifully picture that God’s word should guide our minds (frontlets between the eyes) and deeds (on your hand) which produce all activities of the household (on the doorposts). Are we not using our minds and hands daily for every activity, and thus do we not need God’s word daily for strength and reminder? It is the daily job of the head of the household to bring God’s word to his family, and he cannot do so without daily gathering his family to worship God by singing, hearing, learning, and praying God’s word.

Therefore, this text, by good and necessary consequence, unavoidably requires every husband and father to conduct family worship daily, provided there is no providential hindrance. If there is any legitimate hindrance for the father, then the mother should lead the family worship on behalf of the head of the household. The New Testament has the same teaching built upon that of the Old Testament. We see the same pattern and command of family worship in the New Testament. This continuity shows even more clearly that it is God’s command for every household to worship Him domestically. “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” (Ephesians 6:4) The necessary inference is that since parents bring up children daily (it cannot be otherwise), and since they ought to do so by the discipline and instruction of the Lord which is centered on worshiping God, therefore, they must lead children to worship God daily.

Family worship does not need to be long. Nor does it need to be like a Lord’s Day worship. The key thing is regularity and faithfulness, making the worship of God a daily priority in the family. Simply reading the Scripture with brief comments, singing hymns, and praying together would be sufficient. A good material that provides brief comments on each Scripture passage, is Family Worship Guide by Dr. Joel Beeke. It can be very useful for explaining and applying the Scripture very concisely during family worship. To learn how to lead family worship, see Family Worship by Dr. Beeke as well. If any man really does not know how to lead family worship, he should go to his pastor or elder for help and demonstration. May God cause more and more Christian fathers to lead family worship daily and faithfully for God’s glory, for the family’s highest good, and for the growth of the church.