Christian Living

Hope in an Age of Hopeless Media

Posted on by WRPC Admin

by Justin Salinas, Thursday May 30, 2019

We live in an interesting time. Never has more information flowed so rapidly or been found so easily as in the present age. With social media, twenty-four-hour news cycles, talk radio, and super computers in the palms of our hands, we are constantly bombarded with facts and speculations, news from around the world, and personal opinions from every side. If you are like me, then you rarely find yourself coming out of these moments of media cheerful or encouraged. The reason for this is simple: we live in a fallen world, and it shows. The news is all about disasters, crimes, car wrecks, celebrity gossip, and political propaganda. Social media seems filled with only arguments and misguided opinions. The political commentators we all cannot get enough of, conservative or otherwise, bait us with drama and angry discontentment. Where is anyone to find hope or rest from the negative messages we hear every day?

Hope for the believer comes not from the world, but from the words of Scripture. If we have faith in Christ, we should not allow ourselves to adopt a mind of hopelessness and discouragement when the world looks and sounds like it will soon collapse in on itself. As believers have a greater hope than anyone else in this world. Listen to the Apostle Peter speaking to those fellow believers dispersed throughout ancient Rome in 1 Peter 1:3-9.

  3 “Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who according to His abundant mercy has begotten us again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead,
4 to an inheritance incorruptible and undefiled and that does not fade away, reserved in heaven for you,
5 who are kept by the power of God through faith for salvation ready to be revealed in the last time.
6 In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while, if need be, you have been grieved by various trials,
7 that the genuineness of your faith, being much more precious than gold that perishes, though it is tested by fire, may be found to praise, honor, and glory at the revelation of Jesus Christ,
8 whom having not seen you love. Though now you do not see Him, yet believing, you rejoice with joy inexpressible and full of glory,
9 receiving the end of your faith—the salvation of your souls.” 1 Peter 1:3-9 NKJV

These believers were living in the midst of a culture with open and abhorrent idolatries, sexual perversions, drunkenness, and fleshly lusts. Sound familiar? Peter, knowing this, opens this epistle with encouragement for the brethren. He begins by blessing “the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ” and acknowledges the “abundant mercy” that has been given to these believers (v.3). Mercy has begotten these believers, and indeed us, as fellow exiles from Heaven, to a living hope in the resurrected Christ Jesus.

Peter could have stopped here. The news of the resurrected Lord conquering death after bearing the penalty of sin in our place should fill all our hearts with enough joy to cause them to burst out of our chests, but Peter goes on. He gives these believers something not only to rejoice in that is now complete and finished, but also something to look forward to in the future. It is the hope of an inheritance in our Heavenly Father. What is this inheritance? Peter describes it as that which is incorruptible and undefiled, that does not fade away. This inheritance, indeed our inheritance, is one of adoption into the kingdom of God. It is the ability for us to call God our Father. It is eternal and joyful existence with God as heirs and sons of God. We are placed as brothers and sisters with Jesus Himself and are able to take part in his royal inheritance in glory for all eternity. And all this is perfectly reserved for us by the power of God through faith! No man, not even the most powerful political leader can take it from us. It is safe from all financial crises. It will still stand even if natural disaster sweeps everything else away from us.

In this we rejoice, brothers and sisters. In this we find our hope because the world offers us none. As Peter continues, though we are grieved by various trials, though our faith be tested by fire in this life, we rejoice in that incorruptible and everlasting inheritance, and that which we receive at the end of our faith, the salvation of our souls.

History/Marriage/Parenting/Piety

The Well-Ordered Home

Posted on by Carl Robbins
Our dear friend Dr. Terry Johnson (Pastor of the Independent Presbyterian Church of Savannah, Georgia) has penned a brief, yet brilliant explanation of the virtues of an orderly home life.
I could add to what he says and how disorderly people never get around to vital disciplines like reading & study, hospitality and much more, because their lives are so chaotic.
Read and enjoy. Better yet, read, be convicted, and change!
– Pastor Robbins

Dr. Terry Johnson
Senior Pastor
Independent Presbyterian Church
Savannah, Georgia

“An ardor for order” is how J. I. Packer characterized the piety of Puritanism.[1]If we properly are to utilize the means of grace, establishing both the family altar and the family pew; if we properly are to “discipline” and “instruct” our children (Eph 6:1ff); if we are to provide them with a “godly example,” leading to their salvation, then priorities will have to be established which allow all of life’s duties and activities to be fulfilled. We have the demands of our jobs, of our spouses, of our children, of our church, and of our community. We primarily are citizens of the city of God, yet we retain our responsibilities as citizens of the city of man. How may we faithfully fulfill all of our obligations, and do so in a way that the souls of our children receive our priority attention?

Order

We may begin by bringing order to our lives, by establishing “a planned, well-thought-out flow of activities,” says Packer, in which all “obligations are recognized and met, a time is found for everything that matters.”[2] What do we mean by order? We mean order as opposed to chaos; order as opposed to disorder, order as opposed to everyone doing whatever they want whenever they want; order as opposed to family members more or less eating, sleeping, playing, and working (or not working!) when they feel like it.

By order we mean that every worthwhile thing has a time and a place. By order we mean that the family acts in concert, coordinating its activities to the benefit of the family as a whole. By order we mean a well-ordered home, where children join in decluttering the house, where the Puritan motto of “cleanliness is next to godliness” is cherished, and where time is not lost searching, searching, searching three, four, five times a day for misplaced objects. By order we mean that family possessions are given proper care, extending thereby their usefulness, eliminating unnecessary trips to the store and wasteful expenditures of time and funds. In this fashion we “number our days” and “redeem the time,” making the most of our God-given opportunities, God-given resources, and fulfilling all our God-given duties (Ps 90:12; Eph 5:16).

Routine

A regular routine makes fulfilling family responsibilities more likely than it otherwise would be. We recommend consistency in the family schedule. Regular bedtimes, regular mealtimes, regular playtimes, and predictable routines are both comforting for children and freeing for parents. Regular routines define a child’s world, providing stability and security. James Dobson offers two illustrations of how a regular family routine, with standards of what is allowed and disallowed, provides a comforting environment for children. The first has to do with driving over a bridge that has no guardrails. What does nearly everyone tend to do? he asks. Answer: we all tend to drift to the middle. Why? When a bridge has guardrails, do we use them? Of course not. We don’t drive by Braille, bumping the rails to identify our position. Rather, the rails define the space. We gain security from their presence though we don’t use them. Borders are comforting for us.

The other illustration he uses comes from the schools-without-fences educational fad of the late 1960’s. The theory was that fences were bad. Fences limit. Fences restrict. Fences confine. Fences stifle creativity. Open schools were proposed as the answer, schools without fences. As the fences were removed, school administrators were shocked by what they found. When the fences were up, students would fill the campus open spaces right up to the fences themselves. When the fences came down, the students huddled in the middle. The lesson, he urges, is that children (and youth) need routines and rules that define their freedom and its limits. These “fences” provide secure borders within which they may safely live. The fences form part of their identity: we are a people who thrive within these parameters, enjoying life within, not traveling without.

Response? Plan to have regular mealtimes. Aim to gather the family for two mealtimes every day, probably breakfast and dinner. Plan for the family to have devotions every day at a set time, morning or evening. Plan to read to the children daily. Plan to be at church every Sunday AM and PM. Plan to observe a Sunday Sabbath. Plan to attend all of the children’s special events: ball games, recitals, awards banquets. Plan to discipline every infraction of household norms. Pick up, straighten up, clean up the house. Let everything have its place. Your “ardor for order” will go a long way toward providing a safe, secure, and happy environment for the rearing of children. More importantly, it will provide the time and circumstances to “set before them a godly example,” and to “bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.”

[1] See Johnson, The Family Worship Book, (Fearn, Ross-Shire, Gr. Britain: Christian Focus Publications, 1998), 18.

[2] Ibid., (slightly modified).

Missions

Aaron Halbert – Missionary to Honduras

Posted on by Scotty Anderson

This Sunday morning we have the privilege of seeing and hearing from one of our missionaries: Aaron Halbert. Be sure to greet him when you see him.

Below is from their MTW Page:

Aaron was born in Honduras and lived there until he was 10. Rachel grew up in Mississippi. They met on a blind date in 2004 and quickly realized they both had a passion for missions. Because of Aaron’s background, he had a desire to one day return to Honduras. Rachel served on several mission trips to Haiti, during which she realized the great need for God’s Word to be preached worldwide. In 2006, they married and moved to Honduras to teach in a bilingual school outside of Tegucigalpa. While there, they became even more aware of the need for churches that teach the transforming power of the gospel (Rom.10:17).

Aaron and Rachel moved back to Mississippi so that Aaron could get an M.Div. from Reformed Theological Seminary (RTS) in Jackson. While there Aaron served at Second Presbyterian in Yazoo City as the youth director and intern. Rachel taught at the local Christian school, then later left the classroom to be a full-time mom.

The Halberts are starting a new team in the capital of Honduras, Tegucigalpa. They are excited about what the Lord has in store and hope you will partner with them through prayer, financial giving, or both.

Family/Parenting/Piety

Grace-Based Parenting

Posted on by Carl Robbins
Several times a year we have the joy to baptize one of our covenant children.
Hopefully, you can look past “The Cuteness Factor” and see the weightiness of what is actually happening.
The parents confess profound biblical truths about THEIR child. And, they  swear solemn oaths that they are going to use THE MEANS that God has appointed for the eternal salvation of THEIR child. The congregation joins in and confesses that they also believe these truths about this child and they will support these earnest parents as they seek to (by the empowering grace of God) raise this child in a godly fashion.
Our dear friend Dr. Terry Johnson has some great insights into these matters and a biblical philosophy of parenting:

Dr. Terry Johnson
Senior Pastor
Independent Presbyterian Church
Savannah, Georgia

“Grace-Based Parenting”

We have urged that understanding the doctrine of original sin is the key to Christian parenting. Mothers and fathers need to understand that their children are from birth both guilty and corrupt; they have inherited both condemnation and depravity. This unsentimental, open-eyed view of one’s children will help to ensure a disciplined home: parents will require first-time obedience; they will forbid backtalk, whining, and tantrums; and they will insist upon conformity to the family schedule and routines. Children will thereby quickly learn that they are not the center of the universe and all things do not exist to serve them. By saying these things we are saying nothing new, as can be seen by the language of the traditional baptismal vows.

Grace needed

Once the reality of original sin truly has sunk in, one is ready to follow through on the second and yet most important principle of Christian parenting: relying on God’s grace. Weaken the doctrine of original sin and one may settle for “Pelagian Child-Rearing” or “Arminian Child-Rearing.”  In other words, if the impact of sin is not so bad, grace is not so needed. However, if sin’s corrupting effects are immediate upon conception and pervasive, an ocean of grace is needed if our children are to be savingly reared. This conviction lies behind the first parental baptismal vow as stated in the Presbyterian Church in America’s Book of Church Order:

Do you acknowledge your child’s need of the cleansing blood of Jesus Christ, and the renewing grace of the Holy Spirit?

This vow assumes what we’ve emphasized thus far: the doctrine of pervasive human guilt and corruption. What are parents acknowledging? Their child’s “need of the cleansing blood of Jesus Christ, and the renewing grace of the Holy Spirit.” Do they, as infants, really need all that? Indeed. Why? Because they are born guilty sinners, born selfish and demanding, born idolaters of self.

John Gerstner tells the story of guest-preaching at a Presbyterian church on the occasion of an infant baptism. He spied a white rose on the font. “What’s the meaning of the rose?” he asked. “It represents the purity of the child,” they answered. “Then what’s the meaning of baptism?” he countered. Exactly. Baptism assumes a person, infant or otherwise, needs the poured out and cleansing blood of Jesus Christ and the poured out and renewing grace of the Holy Spirit. Understanding the need of divine grace is vital to faithful Christian parenting. My child needs the grace of Christ: regenerating, illuminating, transforming, and sustaining. Likewise, the second vow:

Do you claim (or trust in) God’s covenant promised in (his/her) behalf, and do you look in faith to the Lord Jesus Christ for (his/her) salvation, as you do for your own?

Parents are pledging to look in faith for what? Salvation. Their child needs salvation. There are covenant promises to be claimed (Gen 17:7; Acts 2:39). They must be believed if the child is to be saved. The benefits of grace are received by faith: “by grace you have been saved through faith” (Eph 2:8). Taking the first two vows together, because I understand the human condition into which my child was born (original sin), I recognize his/her need of the benefits of Christ and the Spirit (salvation), and my responsibility to trust the promises of God in Christ. Okay? Then what?

Means

Since these things are so, the parents must utilize the God-given means to bring their children to Christ. To trust the promises of God and do nothing is fatalism. To leave their salvation “in God’s hands” while abandoning the responsibility to guide them spiritually is sinful negligence. Hence vow #3 follows vows #1 and #2.

Do you now unreservedly dedicate your child to God, and promise, in humble reliance upon divine grace, that you will endeavor to set before (him/her) a godly example, that you will pray with and for (him/her), and you will teach (him/her) the doctrines of our holy religion, and that you will strive, by all the means of Gods’ appointment, to bring (him/her) up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord?

Notice the “humble reliance upon divine grace” that describes the context in which the vow is taken. Both the parents and the child need God’s grace if a child is to be reared properly. Parents promise to provide a “godly example.” This requires God’s grace. Parents promise to “pray with and for” their children. This too requires God’s grace. Parents teach them “the doctrines of our holy religion.” This also requires God’s grace. Parents promise to use “all the means of God’s appointment.” This requires God’s grace as well. We parents are weak and foolish, inconsistent and compromised. We need God’s grace if ever we are to rear our children faithfully. We need grace, and our approach is determined by what we call the “doctrines of grace,” of human depravity and God’s initiative in salvation. Grace shapes the whole endeavor.

Next time we’ll look more carefully at each promise of this third vow. For now we’ll merely note the concluding clause of the vow, the promise to “bring (him/her) up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.” These two beautiful old English words, based on the KJV of Ephesians 6:2, have more recently been translated “discipline and instruction” (ESV, NASB), or “training and instruction” (NIV). They represent the negative and positive poles of parenting. Children need correction and teaching. Why? Because “foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child.” How is it to be removed?  “The rod of discipline drives it far away (Prov 22:15). Previous generations understood this. “Spare the rod and spoil the child,” was a universally accepted piece of folk wisdom. It is also an authoritative piece of biblical wisdom:

Whoever spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him. (Prov 13:24)

If we love our children we will diligently discipline them. Properly applied discipline is even associated by Proverbs with salvation:

13 Do not withhold discipline from a child;
    if you strike him with a rod, he will not die.
14 If you strike him with the rod,
    you will save his soul from Sheol. (Prov 23:13, 14)

“Break their wills,” said John Wesley, “that you may save their souls.” John Witherspoon, the only minister to sign the Declaration of Independence (and a Presbyterian minister at that!) maintained that discipline should commence at 8-9 months and be completed by 12-14 months! He was concerned that discipline would become “too severe” if delayed. If that seems unreasonable, how about by age 3? By then, I would think 90% of all childhood discipline should be complete. The household should be calm, quiet, and happy, as opposed to an endless stream of whining, fussing, argument, and defiance.

With human beings there are countless variables. Rearing children is an art, not a science. There are no parenting cookie-cutters or formulas. Yet there are some universal principles to guide us. What do we need if we are to rear our children aright? Wisdom. Patience. Selflessness. Grace. Parents need grace and their children need grace, and the process must be grace-shaped if the goals of Christian parenting are to be reached.

Apologetics

We’re Not in Kansas Anymore

Posted on by Dan Dodds

setiFrom the “I Told You So” quote file: 

“When a man stops believing in God he doesn’t then believe in nothing, he believes anything.” (Attributed to G.K. Chesterton)

“What did we do when we unchained the earth from its sun?” Nietzsche

——-

As the west moves away from the Biblical revelation which affirms the reality of the external world, reliability of sense perception and reason (within Biblical constraints), objective truth and the uniformity of nature (among other things), and replaces it with personal opinions, prurient speculation, and private interpretations, we should not be surprised to find all manner of craziness in the headlines. Here are a few:

Aliens (really!)

  • We probably just heard a message from aliens, scientists say
  • Neil DeGrasse Tyson thinks aliens found humans, creatures on Earth uninteresting
  • “Aliens are for real and we can prove it. But we just need some money: SETI scientists tell Congress”

The Matrix

  • “Bank of America analysts think there’s a 50 per cent chance we live in The Matrix”
  • “Neil DeGrasse Tyson Thinks There’s a ‘Very High’ Chance We’re Living in the Matrix” (He says: “What would we look like to them? We would be drooling, blithering idiots in their presence. And if that’s the case, it is easy for me to imagine that everything in our lives is just the creation of some other entity for their entertainment.”)
  • “What If Evolution Bred Reality Out Of Us?”

Feminism

  • “Feminist PhD Candidate: Science is Sexist because It’s Not Subjective”

Trans-isms

  • “Metamorphosis – What’s it like to be an animal” (a trans-species story about a man who thinks he’s a goat. Transgenderism is becoming so 2015.)

This is just a sample. Though there are vast (and growing) differences between unbelievers, they are united on one issue: “Anything but Christianity,” just as Romans 1 teaches.

Apologetics/Theology/Worship

The Creator – Creature Distinction and the Authority of Scripture

Posted on by Dan Dodds

mlj-faceThe following is a quote from Martin Lloyd Jones as he preached through the book of Romans. It is a clear and sober warning to us to remember who we are in relation to God and to trust His Word, submit to it, enjoy it, learn it and treasure it rather than submit it to our scrutiny. Enjoy!

Let us learn these simple lessons as we move on. We put the creature before the Creator whenever we put any single idea of our own before the revelation of Scripture. I feel like repeating that. To put any idea of our own before Scripture is to be guilty of this very sin of putting the creature before the Creator, our ideas rather than what the Bible says, or what God has revealed. ‘Ah,’ we say, ‘but I don’t understand that, I don’t see how God would be fair if He did this and that.’ That may be what you say; and it may be what you think. The question is, What is revealed? What does God say about Himself? My friends, we are not meant to understand all we read in the Scriptures. It is beyond us. Our minds are too small, and we are born in sin. We come to this as little children, not to comprehend it all, but to worship and to praise, and to receive it. And if we start putting our ideas or difficulties or thoughts or feelings before Scripture, we have already partly become guilty of this terrible, serious charge of putting and worshiping the creature before the Creator.

 

 

Church/Prayer/Uncategorized

The Civil Government Has Asked Us to Pray

Posted on by Carl Robbins

biopicnikki-haleyAs Presbyterians we have a very careful understanding of the relationship between the church and the civil magistrate. If you’d like to probe this in any depth just read our public theology, the Westminster Confession of Faith, Chapter 23. We recognize that both spheres are legitimate and are ordained by God (Romans 13:1-7). Christ is Lord over the State and over the Church. But they are separate spheres. We do not want the civil government interfering in church matters, nor do we want to see the church take her focus off the “ordinary means of grace” (Word, prayer, and sacraments) to focus on politics & policy. But, whenever the civil magistrate recognizes the Church’s God-commanded activities and even asks for our assistance, we should be happy to co-operate.

Our state’s Governor – Nikki Haley – sent a communication on Tuesday to all churches in the state of South Carolina, asking us to gather our congregations at Noon on Tuesday, November 22, for the purpose of prayer. The Elders of WRPC have considered this request and are happy to comply.

The Governor specifically stated that she is deeply concerned for two issues:

  • Potential civil unrest in the state in light of the two high profile criminal trials underway in Charleston (the shooting of the Emmanuel AME Nine & the shooting of Walter Scott).
  • The ongoing suffering & displacement of many of our fellow citizens by Hurricane Matthew.

So, next Tuesday, we will gather in the WRPC Choir Room to pray for these concerns. Please join us.

Counseling

More Like Sherlock, Less Like Watson

Posted on by Dan Dodds

holmeswatsonIn an interesting exchange between Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson, the latter informed Holmes of the Copernican view of the solar system and was surprised to learn that Sherlock knew nothing of it. But after learning of it, Holmes told Watson “Now that I do know I shall do my best to forget it.” Watson was stunned, “To forget it!” he cried. Holmes gave this explanation:

“You see,” he explained, “I consider that a man’s brain originally is like a little empty attic, and you have to stock it with such furniture as you choose. A fool takes in all the lumber of every sort that he comes across, so that the knowledge which might be useful to him gets crowded out, or at best is jumbled up with a lot of other things, so that he has a difficulty in laying his hands upon it. Now the skilful workman is very careful indeed as to what he takes into his brain-attic. He will have nothing but the tools which may help him in doing his work, but of these he has a large assortment, and all in the most perfect order. It is a mistake to think that that little room has elastic walls and can distend to any extent. Depend upon it, there comes a time when for every addition of knowledge you forget something that you knew before. It is of the highest importance, therefore, not to have useless facts elbowing out the useful ones.”

Arthur Conan Doyle. Sherlock Holmes: The Collection (Kindle Locations 301-304). Kindle Edition.

Paul writes: Philippians 4:8 Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy — meditate on these things.

I have found that with the twenty four hour information flow on as many channels or websites, I can fill my mind with a lot of stuff that is at best trivial. Perhaps we all need to reflect on our daily intake of information and ask ourselves: “Does my intake of information fit the qualifications enumerated by Paul?

Dr. Watson concluded the conversation with “(Sherlock) said that he would acquire no knowledge which did not bear upon his object. Therefore all the knowledge which he possessed was such as would be useful to him.”

Parenting

Too-Nice Parenting

Posted on by Scotty Anderson

The following was written by Dr. Terry Johnson and taken from The IPC Messenger, the newsletter of the Independent Presbyterian Church in Savannah,  Georgia. It can be found in context here.

Dr. Terry Johnson Senior Pastor Independent Presbyterian Church Savannah, Georgia
Dr. Terry Johnson, Senior Pastor
The Independent Presbyterian Church, Savannah, Georgia

One common problem with child-rearing today is what I would call “too-nice” parenting. The parents are simply too nice. They don’t want their children ever to be disappointed or have any demand delayed or left unmet. All desires are immediately satisfied and all behavior excused. That’s right. All behavior is excused because all demands are perceived of as reasonable. After all, the child has needs, and this is his/her way of letting adults know.

What “too nice” parents fail to recognize is that when children are rude or demanding or interrupt or throw a tantrum, it’s not merely immaturity on their part, though it is that. It is also sinful. Really? Yes. Of course it is. When parents jump to meet the need of a demanding child, to satisfy his/her desire, to allow the interruption, to excuse the behavior (“he’s tired,” “she’s hungry,” etc.), they are not being nice, but cruel: to the children, themselves, and all those around them. They are rewarding bad behavior, and in the process, guaranteeing that more will be forthcoming.

Worst of all are parents who think the bad behavior of their children is “cute.” It’s not. When children are allowed to grab center-stage, interrupting adult conversations, ignoring adult instructions, placing themselves in the head of every parade by being whiney, fussy, demanding, loud, or rude, no one is amused except perhaps the parents and grandparents.

I’ll never forget when Emily and I went out to dinner with a couple visiting from Florida with their out-of-control two-plus year old. He was up, down, climbing, crying, demanding, food-throwing. Gradually his clothes had to be stripped down to his diaper because he was wearing most of his dinner. The climax of the evening came when he went from his father’s lap to plopping down, diaper first, in his father’s watery plate of oysters, with a splash. It was ridiculous. Emily and I said afterwards we’d never raise our children like that. “Johnny, sit down!” (He didn’t). “Johnny, stop playing with your food!” (He did, for five seconds). “If you don’t stop, you will be punished!” (He wasn’t). “Stop whining and daddy will give you a treat when we get home.” (He didn’t.) “Sit still and I’ll let you watch ‘Lady and the Tramp’ tomorrow.” Shameless attempts to bribery continued. It was classic parenting by negotiation. On and on it went the length and breadth of the entire meal. Conversation was impossible. Tension was palpable. He wasn’t cute. He was insufferable.

Then there is the “our Johnny is so smart that we dare not restrict him” philosophy. He’s a borderline genius, the evidence of which is visible every day! We don’t want to stifle his inquisitive mind. So we let him wander around the house, the yard, the world, doing whatever he wants, lest we squelch his creativity. Not until Johnny finally enrolls in school and begins to compete with other children do parents begin to realize that Johnny, like most children, is quite average. I know of what I speak. Dobson writes of how the first child’s first words, first discoveries, his first curiosities lead parents to think they’ve been entrusted with the next Einstein. Hook, line, and sinker, we bought it. Sorry, by defnition, most children are average, probably including yours. His/her brilliance is not an excuse for being out of control.

When we brought home our first Jack Russell terrier, “Jack,” I began to place limits on Jack’s behavior, that is, train him. Sally, who was about seven years old at the time, cried out, “Dad, don’t! He won’t like us!” We continued to discipline and train Jack, and Sally was able to see that though we were strict, no dog ever loved a family more than Jack did. The portrait of the noble beast occupies an honored place in our home.

I wonder if some parents don’t think like our seven-year-old Sally. If I don’t allow little Johnnie and Susie latitude to do what they want, their reasoning goes, they won’t like us?! It’s silly, really. Children need order. They need limits. They need borders on their existence. They thrive with structure and routine. Deny them this and they will be miserable, and eventually you will be blamed.

It’s good to be nice. I wish I were more nice. Yet one can be “too nice,” as when one’s niceness is actually self-serving (I want to be liked) rather than self-sacrificing (doing what is in the best interest of the children).

— Terry Johnson